A good laugh: Good occupation

August 10, 2017

By Eddy Montilla.

“By observing your likes, it is possible to know your occupation in the future.” A teacher said to her students. “Let’s see, tell me what part of my body you prefer and I will tell you what you will be some day.”

“I like your nails, Miss Baker.”

“Well, you will probably be manicurist, Angela.”

“I love your eyes, Miss Baker.”

“You might be a good oculist, John.”

“Don’t worry about me.” Ron said. “I know exactly what I want to be: A good milker!”

Copyright 2017 littlethings4all.wordpress.com. All rights are reserved.


A good laugh: Diving into nothing

June 27, 2017

By Eddy Montilla.

A man, gun in hand, goes directly to his bedroom where his wife and a man are with only their feet sticking out from under the sheets.

“It is not what you think, darling. He is my scuba-diving instructor and he was teaching me about what we can see when we swim underwater.” His wife said.

“That’s absolutely right, sir.” The man, clearly nervous, said. “And by the way, that sea is huge, but there is nothing there. Believe me, sir. I was diving for hours and I couldn’t even find a little fish.”

The woman, flew into a rage when she heard that and said to her husband:

“Jason, please, don’t waste your bullets. I will kill this as…hole with my own hands!

Copyright 2017 littlethingsforall.wordpress.com. All rights are reserved.

A good laugh: Fruits? No, thanks

May 29, 2017

By Eddy Montilla.

Explanatory Note: The following joke is a made-up story by the author with the sole purpose of providing fun for the readers. Therefore, it does not have the slightest intention of making fun of people for their sexual orientation.

40 years later after their last meeting, some friends are at a bar bragging about how strong they were as womanizer.

“When I was young, I had as many women as grapes you can count in a bunch.” A man said.

“Well, I had as many girls as bananas you can see in a bunch.” The oldest of the group replied.

“And how about you, Frank? They asked a tall and lanky man, well known for his effeminacy.

“Me? He said with girlish voice. “I don’t like fruits!!”

Copyright 2017 littlethingsforall.wordpress.com. All rights are reserved.

Let’s talk about movies: The Legend of Tarzan (2016) cannot be told to other generations

August 22, 2016

By Eddy Montilla.

Cinema seat and pop corn facing empty movie screen

Rating: 6.0/10

Directed by: Quentin Tarantino.

Written by: Quentin Tarantino.

Genre: Western.

MPAA Rating: R (contain some adult material. Parents are urged to learn more about the film before taking their young children with them).

Starring: Samuel L. Jackson (Major Marquis Warren), Kurt Russell (John Ruth), Jennifer Jason Leigh (Daisy Domergue) and Walton Goggings (Sheriff Chris Mannix).

Running Time: 167 minutes.

A movie can rarely escape from the prevailing trend of the time it belongs to, and today’s trend seems to be fantasy, action and the use of special effects, the application of computer graphics, like CGI (computer-generated imagery), etc. However, any trend, under any circumstances, gives a movie director green light to break one of the most basic and inviolable rules in the movie world: Films must always be directed according to its plot. The remake The Legend of Tarzan (2016) breaks so many times this rule that those who saw the real movie have the right to ask if they had to wait 110 minutes to leave the cinema.

     Tarzan (Alexander Skarsgård) was a baby raised by apes in the heart of the jungle. This very simple, but fascinating idea is the only base of the original film. A simple, pure and human story, quite different from The Legend of Tarzan (2016) in which, because of the computer-generated imagery in the movie, Tarzan looked like another superhero, a Paleolithic version of Batman or Superman, battling alone against dozens of extraterrestrial-looking men.

     The first 30 minutes of this movie were interesting: Tarzan and Jane (Margot Robbie) going back to Congo where they met many years ago for a diplomatic mission, Tarzan trying to reconnect with his roots, etc. are worth seeing. The rest is a canned cliché created according to the film world´s business parameters. If Samuel Jackson (George Washington) had not been there to give the movie some doses of hilarious moments, I think that even Tarzan would have given his negative verdict by adding some words to his classic cry: “Nooooooo mooooore!”

This article was originally published in the digital newspaper World And Opinion with Eddy Montilla.

Copyright 2016 littlethings4all.wordpress.com. All rights are reserved.

A good laugh: Unwanted kisses

August 5, 2016

By Eddy Montilla.


A man staggers into his house and says: “You look so beautiful, sweetheart! Let me kiss all these moles you have on your thin arms one by one!!”

“Three things tell me that you are blind drunk, sir. First, I’m not your wife; I am a plumber. Second, “these thin arms” are two plungers to unblock your toilet and third, I had never seen a man kissing his own sh..t so happily!!”

Copyright 2016 littlethingsforall.wordpress.com. All rights are reserved.

Last Love Poems: She went away…

July 18, 2016

By Eddy Montilla.

IMAGE: Eddy Montilla

Image: Eddy Montilla

She went away…

Don’t ask me why.

Don’t the waves do the same after kissing the shore?

Does the moon stay with us every day at dawn?

Birds leave their nests when time has come.

Petals say goodbye to flowers full of hope.

Passion dies when love has gone

like happiness without little things inside.

Water escapes if the soil is dry

and clouds, clouds are blown away by the wind.

Even our friends go away and

the remembrance of them will not stay.

She went away…

Don’t ask me with whom,

because love and freedom take the same path,

but it is always freedom that should go first.

I never think about names, people or places.

If someone exists, he will be there.

It doesn’t make sense to think about him:

It would take up my time,

the time I need to think about her.

I don’t want to imagine how he could be,

I don’t want to destroy all she did.

She went away…

Don’t ask me where.

Any place is perfect when tranquillity is found.

Distance grows over time, but much more over pain.

Who cares about places when there is no love.

Her presence was my compass, the west where the sun sets.

I don’t know where I am. I know where I’m from.

I don’t know where she is, but she will not come.

She went away…

Don’t ask me when.

Any time is good to leave,

to start from the beginning when we reached the end,

to say no when it hurts us to say yes

and to say yes when we don’t have a no.

Yes, she went away…

I also have to do the same,

but with my best smile, without haste,

holding my head high

and ignoring what people were saying.

I cannot walk the same path.

I will not run after her,

after oasis of calm I cannot see,

a cruel mirage that makes me bleed.

Copyright 2016 littlethingsforall.wordpress.com. All rights are reserved.

A good laugh: Like father, like son

July 5, 2016

By Eddy Montilla.


One day, the lion got all animals with their young together and told them: “We are getting old and going through a difficult time. We need the best of our children.”

“I am good at making holes.” The baby mole said and other animals clapped.

“I am good at climbing trees for food.” The baby monkey said. And so did other young animals about their skills.

“Say something, as…hole!”, a donkey said to his son.

“I am good at being stupid!!”

“That’s my boy!!”

Copyright 2016 littlethingsforall.wordpress.com. All rights are reserved.