By Eddy Montilla.
We wrote (5) five steps to get along with your husband or boyfriend before, and a male reader asked me if I could do something similar, but this time, the steps should be aimed at women. All things considered, I think that he was right because men and women are somehow different, and therefore, the same steps cannot be applied perfectly to both genders. This is what we got:
Step 1: Listen and talk to your wife or girlfriend more often.
Rather than money or infidelity, loneliness has been the real constant source of concern to wives. After their early years of marriage, women felt alone, in part because their husbands reduce their level of communication to the minimum necessary, according to their own criteria: Conversations that could lead to make a profit or cover their own interests, such as sports, politics, etc. But women are talkative and to be with a man who talks less and less every day is devastating for them. Stop being so rational, so logical and talk to your wife or girlfriend more. Just talk about different things and listen to your wife’s topics because, among spouses, the benefits of a conversation do not come from the topic itself, but from the idea of spending more time together.
Step 2: Make your wife or girlfriend feel that you love her.
“Do you love me?” is a significant question that wives and girlfriends ask their husbands and boyfriends. This is not a question that happens by chance: A woman needs to feel loved by her partner more than a man does. And this idea should not be misinterpreted as a sign of weakness, but of great maturity in terms of relationships. As we said before, in general, men want to make love when they achieve something important, after a terrible day at work, when they are overwhelmed with problems, etc., as an antidote to stress. Women, however, have a nobler and better idea about it: They want to make love when they are happy with their live and the man they love. Do your best to show your love for your wife or girlfriend because women need the phrase “I love you” more than a night on a bed. A lot of men, in general, move in opposite direction and by looking for a night on the bed only and forgetting the romantic part that women want to see and hear from them, they ruin everything.
Step 3: Learn to adjust to your present circumstances
Women can change their mood, thoughts and feeling in a flash. The reason is not because they are unstable or have a highly volatile personality, but, in my opinion, because they are like a bee: They like tasting nectar from many different flowers, that is, to try new things, to enjoy the emotion of changing direction. For men, however, such sudden changes in mood or plans are not always welcomed. But you have to see the other side of the situation too. As a man, you are frequently anchored to one possibility, to one plan instead of being flexible enough to change direction with her too.
Step 4: On a more secure footing, make your wife or girlfriend feel protected
After the ferocious tsunami and the earthquake that hit Japan in 2011, a lot of Japanese women wanted to get married as soon as possible. They started looking for a boyfriend, and those who had one already, tried “aggressively” to persuade him to get married despite being regarded as conservative people on these kinds of things. For these women, getting married went from something indifferent to something of paramount importance and the reason (in Japan, in US, in Peru or any other country) is the same: Women want to feel protected, and the presence of a man, somehow, satisfies in part this feeling. With actions and words, let your wife or girlfriend know that you were, are and always will be there, at her side.
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