A good laugh: Diving into nothing

June 27, 2017

By Eddy Montilla.

A man, gun in hand, goes directly to his bedroom where his wife and a man are with only their feet sticking out from under the sheets.

“It is not what you think, darling. He is my scuba-diving instructor and he was teaching me about what we can see when we swim underwater.” His wife said.

“That’s absolutely right, sir.” The man, clearly nervous, said. “And by the way, that sea is huge, but there is nothing there. Believe me, sir. I was diving for hours and I couldn’t even find a little fish.”

The woman, flew into a rage when she heard it and said to her husband:

“Jason, please, don’t waste your bullets. I will kill this as…hole with my own hands!

Copyright 2017 littlethingsforall.wordpress.com. All rights are reserved.


(4) Four steps to improve your economic situation

June 17, 2017

By Eddy Montilla.

Money

Told from the most unreal situation to the one most likely, people’s money comes from three different sources:

    First: You won the Powerball jackpot.
    Second: Your parents are millionaire and, you, of course, get part of their money.
    Third: Your money comes from a job you do during some hours per day.

If you belong to the first or second group, do not spend your time reading this article. Instead, use your money and head for the sake of your family, friends and others who were not as fortunate as you (if you are intelligent) or do whatever you want with it and live up with the consequences of your wrong actions by wasting your substance with riotous living at the end (if you are an idiot). For those who belong to the third group, probably most readers in my opinion, it might be important to know how to improve our economic situation. For those people, the following steps:

Step 1: Settle your debts, if you have any, to start from zero

Debts are like popcorn: You just put three popcorn kernels into a sauce pan with hot oil, and moments later, you will have more than you can imagine. Let your debts grow and you will quickly be strangled by the burden of them. There is no growth when you are overwhelmed with debts since interests will devour your salary. Sooner than later, you will get to a point where you can only pay interests while the amount of your debt remains intact or, worse still, keeps growing. Specially for those who do not have experience in money matters, I do not recommend to get into debt in order to start, for example, some business, particularly these days when more and more people are taking high risks and investing in almost every possible area. Your risks are high your chances are low.

Step 2: Reduce consumption and avoid unnecessary expenditure

Everybody knows people who have an excellent salary and, despite of that, have to juggle to make ends meet. In the opposite direction, there are a lot of people who live with a very modest salary, but without economic worries. Where is the magic wand? It does not exist. The difference between these two parts is the way money is administered. If you impose restrictions on your expenditure today by buying, for example, just a slice of cake, you will be able to buy a whole cake in the future. The point is not to take a vow of poverty, but not to try to live in a level of wealth where you are not at present, considering your current salary, a level that goes beyond your economic strength. Do not buy silly and unnecessary things just for social pressure and live according to your real standard of living in concomitance with your salary. In short, don’t live beyond your income.

Step 3: Close your wallet and save as much as you can

There are dozens of excuses for not saving money: Low salary, high cost of living, etc. and most of them are… Inexcusable! Even in heart-rending poverty conditions it is possible to save money. The issue is if you have the firm determination to start first and keep doing it later. If you work hard on the step 2, you might find yourself at the end of the month in a very pleasant and until now unusual situation: With money on your hands. But in order to see that, your efforts must be directed toward the achievement of your goal, cleansed of all prejudices. Many people, when they make a purchase, take the decision on social pressure grounds, because of the whims of fashion or buy something on an impulse. I only have two pairs of shoes and do not have the least intention to buy more since, within my logic reasoning format, they are enough to satisfy my two feet. But do not worry, it is not necessary to live in the strange way I live. What you will really need is a saving plan. Make it, adhere to it and let it “roll”. Make the necessary adjustments to save 5% at first, 10% later until you can reach the desired goal: Between 20%-30% if you have a family with children and 35%-45% if you are single.

Step 4: Prepare yourself to make profitable investments

If your source of income comes exclusively from your salary, the only way you can lead a financially comfortable life is if you belong to the board of management at your company or if you have a traditionally well-paid career. But in practice, people who are bosses constitute a mere fist and not all of us have the capacity to be doctors, professors at some prestigious university, computer engineers, etc. This situation gives us only one option: To invest. Prior steps were smoothing the path to get here, which is, in the end, our main goal. Your salary should be some kind of parachute that will not let you drop abruptly in case of emergency, but investment is what will help you fly. But, what should I invest in? When and how should I invest my money? As you can see, the topic is as complex as important for our future and questions to answer might be many. So, let’s divide it into two sections and please wait for the next article: Steps to invest with better chances and low risk.

Copyright 2017 littlethingsforall.wordpress.com. All rights are reserved.


A good laugh: Amnesia

May 29, 2017

By Eddy Montilla.

A little flamingo and a skunk were riding a tandem bicycle at the park when they lost balance, fell off it, hit their heads and don’t remember who they are.

“You have long thin legs and pink feathers.” The skunk said to its friend.

“I am a flamingo!” The skunk’s friend said happily.

“And you, no offense intended, smell very bad and people don’t want to touch it.”

The skunk, after listening that, runs crying to the place where its mother was and asks her: “Mom, is it true that I’m a piece of sh…t?

Copyright 2017 littlethingsforall.wordpress.com. All rights are reserved.


A good laugh: Fruits? No, thanks

May 29, 2017

By Eddy Montilla.

Explanatory Note: The following joke is a made-up story by the author with the sole purpose of providing fun for the readers. Therefore, it does not have the slightest intention of making fun of people for their sexual orientation.

40 years later after their last meeting, some friends are at a bar bragging about how strong they were as womanizer.

“When I was young, I had as many women as grapes you can count in a bunch.” A man said.

“Well, I had as many girls as bananas you can see in a bunch.” The oldest of the group replied.

“And how about you, Frank? They asked a tall and lanky man, well known for his effeminacy.

“Me? He said with girlish voice. “I don’t like fruits!!”

Copyright 2017 littlethingsforall.wordpress.com. All rights are reserved.


Curiosities: Why do we feel that The Moon is following us when we move?

May 29, 2017

By Eddy Montilla.

When I was a child, rather than playing with gadgets individually as children do today, my friends and I used to play together or with nature. I remember that we used to race against The Moon and we, of course, always won. Years later, this situation made me think about this curiosity: Why is The Moon behind us when we are walking? Why is The Moon following you when you are seeing it from a moving vehicle?

To start with, the truth is that The Moon is not “following you”. This wrong perception comes from a fact that can be explained with one word: Distance.

When you are moving, there are many objects close to you and inside your visual angle. These objects are used as parameters to judge distance and that’s why you are well aware that you walk past a particular object and it is then behind you. Besides, when an object is near you, it can be seen from different angles, which lets you know its position clearly. This situation does not happen with The Moon for two reasons: First, The Moon is an average of 238,855 miles (384,400 km) away from you without other things to be compared with it for size reasons and second, you cannot see it from different angles because of distance. These two factors give us the wrong impression that The Moon remains in one spot and begins to move right along with us when we move.

Copyright 2017 littlethingsforall.wordpress.com. All rights are reserved.


Thought of the day: Sex

May 28, 2017

By Eddy Montilla.

LOVE

Sex is what brings the largest amount of pleasure at the least amount of time with very grave consequences for you depending on who your partner is.

Copyright 2017 littlethingsforall.wordpress.com. All rights are reserved.


Major cyberterrorist attack: Just a matter of time

May 27, 2017

By Eddy Montilla.

In the field of technology, invention and discovery, perhaps we still have a lengthy path ahead, but when it comes to behavior, the way we use to response to critical situations is always the same, as the old proverb says: “There is nothing new under the sun.” That explains why we focus our attention on making progress in the first idea and have already forgotten the second one. We have digitized almost everything, our job is centered around a computer and Internet and, on the other hand, we have forgotten valuable pieces of advice from former generations like this one: “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”, a mistake we are doing today by depending almost exclusively on computers and smartphones without making paths for other options.

It is almost undoubtedly to say that the change from the analogical to digital era, from paper to screen saves us an enormous amount of time at work and makes our lives easier. Despite this fact, the most recent cyber-attack that temporarily crippled websites in more than 150 countries, affecting more than 100,000 organizations made clear the vulnerability of our apparently safe digital world and showed us the other side of the coin: We are taking the risk of losing all our data and since everything is there, we could be in the future without past and present. We are living in an era of major technical breakthroughs that periodically change their channels to distribute information and their data storage system. There are people who still use CDs or DVDs for that purposes; other opt for USBs and we can find people today who are going for iCloud only. Those different formats, rather than being considered a great help, they may be perceived as “the tower of Babel” that only a computer can decode. The next question seems to be forced under these circumstances: What would happen if our computers, because of a world cyber-attack, lost their capacity of reading and examining data? From our family albums to all valuable information of a company, everything would disappear as quickly as a bunch of cookies in front of a group of children with empty stomachs after school. Scientists and experts on the subject like Eugene Karspersky, for example, have been warning us about this possible chaos on the world’s computer systems. That means we are not in front of a hypothetical case, but in front of something likely to happen

Every time burglars find a way to circumvent a sophisticated security system to enter houses to steal, a new one is invented to make them “their job” more difficult. This situation turns into a repetitive circle. Fortunately, in the field of computers and Internet, it is not the hackers, but computer programmers who are in the vanguard, which gives us more time to be better protected against them. That does not mean, however, that the current situation will continue like that in the future, which has raised alarm bells world-wide once you think about England and Scotland, for example, places where many hospitals where hit by the ransomware cyber-attack, forcing to cancels surgeries and treatments for patients.

What in the past was only a figment of Len Wiseman’s imagination (a massive computer attack on the United States infrastructure in his movie Die hard 4.0) is today some closer than ever to be real. “A mayor cyberterrorist attack is only a matter of time.” as Karspersky said once. We should, therefore, try to find balance between our technological wisdom and popular wisdom, and the way we can do that is avoiding putting all the eggs in one basket, which implies to keep hardcopies of certain documents, to have at least one computer without Internet connection (if possible) and to take other preventive measures like these ones. Include in this group, of course, to have some cash at home because banks use computers too. In normal time, normal people always make fun of the well-prepared, but at the end, during stormy times when the unthinkable becomes massive problems, the well-prepared stay afloat while normal people take only one direction: A race to the bottom.

This article was originally published in the digital newspaper World And Opinion.

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